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I am never doing this again. That is what he said. I asked what is he never going to do again? He replied watch the kids and work. I chuckled. It is called parenting. I have owned my own business for years but before that I worked virtually, and I had to run the house and take care of the kids while working with huge clients. I managed, and I did it. He can’t. I thought to myself what is the difference is it that only women can multitask?
If you think so, reply yes and tell me your favorite story. I love to hear from you!Continue reading
I didn’t realize our marriage was in trouble or that I was in trouble. I loved him and he loved me, but somewhere under all the work and responsibility, we lost our plan.
I got everything done. I checked each task off the list. I was breathing, but I wasn’t living. I was knee deep in Cheerios ground into the rug and fingerprints and face plants on the glass. I was on calls or on the computer or at some child’s activity. I was many things, but what I wasn’t was present.
If you could see inside our home, you would see this:Continue reading
I was thinking being the Real Advice Gal is a big job. It is my job to lay it out on the table and be truthful in what I feel, think, and have experienced in my life both current and past events. I decided that honesty is the best policy. I love my husband, but I felt like I wasn’t in love with my husband. I kind of felt like I was going through the motions of being a partner but I wasn’t feeling much like a wife. That really bothered me. I didn’t get married to be someone’s sidekick. I really wanted to figure out why I wasn’t so into to my husband. You see he is pretty perfect, a great dad, adores me, does the chores, cooks, has a job, and is a nice guy.Continue reading
Over the past couple of weeks, we have had a theme to our chats, and it has been conscience of our choices and the impact they have on others. I do think it is important to think about others, but it is important to take care of yourself. I am known for being demanding. I used to think that was a bad thing but then if you look at what I demand it is really what everyone should demand of the people around them. I know demand has a negative connotation but in reality it is a standard that you set for yourself and then your expectations of others is either met or exceeded. The dreaded list of my demands:Continue reading
Twenty-five years ago a young farm girl met a handsome fella from North Carolina in front of a little country church, exchanged a few vows and set out on a journey that would tell the story of their lives. This past weekend that former farm girl fancied up her hair, put on a new dress, pointy toed shoes and walked up the aisle again with that handsome fella from North Carolina wearing a suit, tie and great big smile to the arms of their waiting children. With tears in their eyes, butterflies in their stomachs and joy in their hearts they renewed the vows they had taken so long ago and promised to continue to do all of those things and more. “The last I love you is still as special as the first” he told her and as she held back the tears she told him that he still “makes her heart skip a beat”. With their pastor leading them and their guests in a ceremony filled with scripture, song, thought and purpose they were reminded that this journey could never have been made alone; they need their community of friends and family to journey with them. As their pastor shared his thoughts on this couple, their love for one another and those in attendance he reminded them that it was because “love chose us” that we are here. Each and every person in that room had made an impact on this couple and were there because of the love they have for one another. That couple is my husband David and I.
I share this to emphasize the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who will always be there for us, to nurture, advise, assist, encourage, stand up for, disagree with, apologize to and love us unconditionally. As I write this the music from our reception playlist is playing in my ears. Each song was chosen carefully by David and I trying to mesh my love of country with his adoration of 70’s and 80’s rock. This playlist alone is an example of the many compromises we’ve made over the years. With Billy Joel singing “Just the way you are” I find myself thinking that if we had stayed the same we wouldn’t have made it this far; life is all about change and transformation.
There is a poem written by an unknown author that talks about people entering our lives for a reason or a season. Reflecting on the people in that room with us it is apparent that our life road has at times been travelled by many people; some who continue to travel with us from the beginning and some who have hopped on or off along the way. Each person represents a piece of our life puzzle that makes a great picture telling a story that is uniquely ours.
When our lives are filled with those who are willing to invest time in us, we are able to perfect ourselves, expand our knowledge and experience life in a deeper more meaningful way. Sharing our lives with others makes our own life story richer; more meaningful. Standing in the middle of the ballroom filled with 100 or so people who chose to spend the evening with us I was aware of the variety of people there. The vastness of ages and stages was a reminder that we need that variety to have a fulfilling life. Sharing my thoughts with an older gentleman, he pointed out that he and his wife had been married 54 years and while it has not always been easy it was worth the work and worry. Taking in his words I realized that this is what the pastor was talking about; “Love chose us”. Love chose us to live in community with one another, to share our lives with one another and to be part of something bigger than ourselves. Yes, marriage is between two people who love one another, who are attracted to one another physically and emotionally but it’s more than that. I believe it’s about who we are as individuals, as a couple and who we are as parents. As a young parent I relied on advice and encouragement from more seasoned parents and now as a seasoned parent I am there for my young friends who find themselves trying to figure out who they are and how to become the best parents they can be. We balance one another out. We fill in the blanks, become backseat drivers in the rat race of life and somehow manage to create a story unique to ourselves.
As the last song played, the last hug given we piled our two children and our daughter’s girlfriend into the backseat of our car, took a deep breath and set out for home; the home we have created for our family and a place where we welcome those who choose to join us on our life journey. Choosing to love someone can be difficult for many reasons. We may not agree with their lifestyle, their faith choice, political views or the music they listen to but choosing to love them in spite of those things is a real and rare gift. While we do not agree with all of these things with everyone who shared in our celebration we choose to love and embrace each and every one of them because love is the most important. Love should be unconditional and when we love in an unconditional way our lives are richer, filled with deep meaning that will allow us to have a life filled with endless possibilities, and great relationships. In our life we choose to love just as love chose us.
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I am proud to introduce a new column to Madame Deals! I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!
Check out Karla’s 24 Day Advocare Challenge updates!