Saving Our Marriage
5 Things I Fixed In My Marriage
I was thinking being the Real Advice Gal is a big job. It is my job to lay it out on the table and be truthful in what I feel, think, and have experienced in my life both current and past events. I decided that honesty is the best policy. I love my husband, but I felt like I wasn’t in love with my husband. I kind of felt like I was going through the motions of being a partner but I wasn’t feeling much like a wife. That really bothered me. I didn’t get married to be someone’s sidekick. I really wanted to figure out why I wasn’t so into to my husband. You see he is pretty perfect, a great dad, adores me, does the chores, cooks, has a job, and is a nice guy.
What I realized is everything he was doing felt so routine to me. He always does the laundry and makes breakfast when he is in town. He wasn’t really doing anything “amazing” or “thoughtful”. I tried to explain that I wanted more. I admit I am known for wanting more. I believe in giving it your all every day so I gave him a book to read. Mat, is someone who gets his information by reading it. He became an expert on the book I gave him and then he started reading the 5 Love Languages. He felt that his offerings were measuring up to what I needed. What he was giving was far superior to most husbands I know, but they weren’t what I needed. I didn’t value them as much as I should have and the need didn’t really fulfill me.
That being said here are the 5 things that I believe fixed my marriage:
1) We are both reading the book and I will be talking about it in my Facebook group next month.
2) We are taking time each night for one another no technology involved. It turns out I need quality time.
3) We are working on saying thank you and being appreciative.
4) We have upped our game in the physical touch department which resulted in my oldest saying that kissing in public is “gross” (Note: it wasn’t that kind of kissing) You can easily kiss on the cheek, forehead, and hand without looking like an ad for perfume.
5) We have decided to plan one special thing for the other each month using what we know about the others love languages.
The truth is relationships aren’t easy. They take work, and they require a commitment. If you aren’t happy then being idle isn’t going to create a resolution. I firmly believe that no one person completes you. I also believe you have to be open and communicate in as many ways as it takes until the person you love hears what you have to say.
What are your secrets to love that lasts, sustains, and grows?
Amee – Real Advice Gal, Mom, Wife and giver of truthful advice!