April 30, 2012

Karla’s Korner: Letting Go Of What’s Holding You Down

I am proud to introduce a new column to Madame Deals! I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!

Letting Go Of What’s Holding You Down: A Look At How I am Taking Back My Sanity One Day At A Time

Over the past three years I have had this inner battle to become healthier both mentally and physically. To say that I have won the battle would be nowhere near the truth. In fact, some days I feel as if I have lost the battle, the war and am ready to throw in the white towel of surrender and defeat. Other days I feel that I am on the right path to cleaning up the battlefield of dysfunction and am headed down the pathway to peace. Thankfully the pathway to peace has become far more travelled lately so I thought I would share some of the little lessons I have learned along the way. Hopefully these little tid bits will be helpful to those who spend time on the battlefield.

  1. Control.  I cannot and will never be able to control anything or anyone other than myself; including my children.  No matter how difficult it is to do I must stay focused on my own issues and leave everyone else’s alone.  I cannot fix everything for everybody.
  2. Self worth.  I am who I am today and I must be thankful for that.  In order to be able to love others I must love myself first.
  3. Physical appearance.  You know what, I will never be a size 10 and that’s okay.  Staying focused on getting healthy and staying healthy are way more important that wearing skinny jeans and if the physical appearance benefits from that then yay for me.
  4. Guilt.  I have never been the perfect parent and for the longest time it haunted me.  Having come to the realization that there is no such thing as perfect I have learned to let go of the guilt, ask for forgiveness on the really big stuff and move on.
  5. Perfection.  Referring to #4, I know that there is nothing perfect in this world.  Oh we would like to think there is, but in reality there is not.  For years I have strived to have perfection in everything I did and I failed.  So now instead of working toward that perfection, I strive to do my best and be okay with that.  And you know what?  Letting go of that need to be perfect has given me a lot of peace.
  6. The past.  Seriously the past is exactly where it should be; behind me.  Realizing that the past cannot be changed has allowed me to look toward the future with clarity and excitement.
  7. Worry.   Someone once told me that worry was a sin and that by worrying I am not allowing my Creator the opportunity to do what He promised in my life.  Being a believer of Christian faith, I must remind myself of this and let go of the excessive worry.  And if you are not on the same faith page as I am know that excessive worry causes health problems that affect you for a lifetime.  And most of the time what we worry about doesn’t actually come true, so we’ve wasted a lot of time and energy for nothing.
  8. Acceptance.  I do not have to be accepted by everyone and I do not need to be friends with everyone.  True friendship is a rare gift, one that should be treasured for its rarity. Therefore, we are not meant to be accepted by everyone we meet.  It is okay if someone does not like us. Enough said.
  9. Greed.  Greed does not just have to do with money; one can be greedy for any number of things.  Always wanting more and never being satisfied with the here and now takes up a lot of time and energy.  Accepting life just as it is right now is the only guarantee we have.  Tomorrow is not guaranteed to any of us and yesterday is over; all we have is right now.  Live it to the moment because the moment is all we have.
  10. Blame. The blame game is not fun to play.  I am learning to accept what I have done and take responsibility for my own actions and no one else’s.  It is not my job to point the fingers of blame toward anyone.  Each person is responsible to take responsibility for their own actions and if they do not, it is not up to me to see to it that they do.  This goes back to control and the fact that the only person I can truly control is myself.



Check out all of Karla’s Korner articles here.

Also, please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.

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