Learn to Love Yourself
Learn to Love Yourself Right Now.
One of my favorite spots in my house is the chair by my bed. The nearby window allows the morning sun to shine through and the moonbeams to peek through the shades in the dark of night; and if I’m lucky I will experience both the sun and moon each day giving me a beautiful beginning and end to each day. As much as I enjoy my time in my special spot I have not always taken the time to do so. For so many years I filled my time with tasks that I felt needed more attention than I did. Looking back I know that I did not believe I deserved to take a break and do something for myself and if I did I would end up feeling guilty because chores went undone, my children missed out on something or that money spent could have been spent on something else. I didn’t love myself enough to treat myself as a priority. If I loved everyone else more than myself then I was being a good person; or at least that was what I thought.
Flash forward and at 46 years old I have come to realize that being able to love others in a deep, open, complete way we must love ourselves first. Knowing that I have loved others in the past, I believe that the lack of self-love prohibited those relationships from being all that they could be. While flipping through old photos recently I not only see a different physical person I see an emotional difference as well. I know that as hard as I tried to project an image of happiness and inner harmony it wasn’t there. Oh sure there were moments sprinkled in where my lack of self-love took a backseat and allowed relationships to flourish and prosper. In reality I wasn’t happy; true happiness eluded me. I tried to look happy. The reality is that those who matter, those who love me without condition were not judging me rather trying to make me feel better. Unfortunately, most of those feel better moments involved food. Those who loved me were also my enablers. Let me be clear I do not blame them or intend to invoke guilt. Ultimately I made the choice to stuff my body with food. Looking back I know I never really felt better. In fact, the more I ate, the bigger the number on the scales got the worse I felt. With each pound I felt smothered, overwhelmed and sad on the inside while pretending to be happy and full of confidence on the outside.
When I made the choice to get healthy I still didn’t have a good grip on what it meant to love myself. Somehow as the weight began to fall away I realized that the weight was not the issue rather a bi-product of my inner transformation. Looking at myself just a few short months ago I conclude that it was when my spirit began its renewal process that I fell in love with myself. With each new step in the journey to physical and emotional health I have discovered that I am worth loving and that the first person I need to love me is me. I had to learn to love myself. Shedding the heaviness in my soul has allowed me to look at the image in the mirror with admiration and love knowing I am worth the effort. Accepting myself for who I am at this very moment allows me to have a happiness that I have not truly felt before. Perfection is not an option and that is okay. Being the best me I can be allows me to be open, honest and filled with love not only for myself but for those who share my life; my world.
I encourage you to look at whatever it is that weighs you down and embrace the true beauty that is within you. My faith tells me that I am created in my Creators image; beautiful and worthy of love and joy. Nurture your physical and emotional self with love and respect. Taking care of the only body you have will not only renew your body but will allow peace to settle within your soul. Take time out of each day just for yourself. Read, meditate, pray, listen to music, write or just sit quietly alone with your thoughts. You are worth the effort and deserve to be happy, to love and be loved. True love I believe begins when we truly love ourselves.
I am proud to introduce a new column to Madame Deals! I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!
Check out Karla’s 24 Day Advocare Challenge updates!