I woke up for no good reason this morning. The children weren’t up, creating destruction a car hasn’t driven by with blaring music. The house wasn’t echoing it age. I just got up and thought of something. The kind of thought that wakes you from your deepest sleep that your mind and body crave with such importance that you awake. I had clarity in the question that I had been rolling over and over again in mind for days.
I was struggling with an anniversary gift for my husband. It is the week of our 20th anniversary of dating. I couldn’t think of a thing that would encompass the significance he has in my life.
I tried hard. I scrolled online for hours. I tried to listen to see if he would give me a hint as to what he needed or wanted but yet four days into our anniversary week I had nothing even though I am known for giving good advice.
The answer I needed washed over me like the first wave when the tide joins the beach. I realized I knew exactly what he needed.
He is the same person I met in the crowded house in Gainesville, Florida with the mismatched furniture that only three males could combine into a single room all whose purpose was to watch tv. The guy who turned the channel on the TV and took my breath away. That moment I knew my life change. I wasn’t sure how or when but after speaking with you all night I knew we would always be friends.
You were the guy who didn’t have “game” who nervously asked me if I smoked instead of my name. The guy who offered me a drink after I noted several times I do not drink and drive. The gentleman who asked me to dance when dancing wasn’t his thing. The guy that stepped on my steel toe boots more than he stepped with the beat. The guy whose infectious laugh moved me more than the song could have. The guy that looked at me and still looks at me like no one or nothing else matters.
I chose you not because my dating pool was empty or you were the last one standing. I chose you not because it was easy to have a boyfriend or husband that was hours away at times and countries away other days, weeks, or months. I chose you not because you empty the dishwasher and do the laundry both chores I despise. Not because you are kind, gentle, smart, and funny.
I chose you not because there was and will never be a choice.
I choose you ever night before bed and every moment in between. I choose you and each morning as the sun peaks up through the clouds and the breakfast you are cooking for the children which you insist is your favorite part of the day saturates the air with citrus and bacon. I choose you.
You see it is the easiest decision I make all day certainly easier than which pants will fit or what shirt goes with those shoes. It is the knowledge I have of us or what we have accomplished together and apart that has makes my decision an easy one.
It is simple there isn’t anyone else since I met you that I think about. I can’t go a day without talking to you without sharing my joys, sorrows, triumphs and tragedies without being part of your story, our story.
I chose you 20 years ago, and I chose you 20 seconds ago, and I will choose you each second that passes in both good times and bad.
I love you more than words can distinguish, more than time could diminish, and more than cupcakes, lipstick, purses, books, baths, fancy trips combined.
I love you more than anyone could offer for you.
I have never met and I am sure I will never meet someone like you again.
Thank you, for being the best friend, dad, and husband and man I could have never dreamed of.
Thank you, for the best gift anyone could ever give.