Category Archives for "Karla’s Korner"

Karla’s Korner: Fear Not

Karla’s Korner: Fear Not

Fear Not

Fear Not….

Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons. Once in a while I am struck at how the simplest of things leave the deepest impact and teach the most valuable lessons. To live abundantly and to really enjoy life, requires us to pay attention to the small things, the everyday ordinary things that when combined together make up the really big things; the most important elements in our life story. As much as I focus on embracing the ordinary, I still find myself wanting something more, searching for something bigger filled with a deeper meaning that just the ordinary. Quite often what keeps me from something bigger, from taking chances and going beyond the mundane is fear. It is in fact easier for me to write about facing fear and anxieties than putting in the work to overcome it. Knowing what to do and doing it is two completely different matters. It is a work in progress.

Fear is defined as” an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” All too often we allow this emotion to get in the way of happiness, success and sometimes love. As I reflected this week on the 27th anniversary of my first date with my husband, I remember the fear I had that night. The “what if’s” played over and over in my head causing doubt and of course, fear to settle in. As we spent that evening together enjoying a meal that he cooked, watching a movie and talking the fear subsided a bit and I was able to enjoy it. When he invited me to sit next to him on the sofa so he could show me some cheesy card trick I could have remained in my safe zone, the chair I was sitting in, or I could choose to move next to him on the sofa and set the fear aside. I chose to move; it was a good choice.

How often do we find ourselves fearful of something that could potentially be wonderful? One of our biggest fears is change. The unknown factor in change creates fear. We must realize that not only is change a good thing is it necessary. A dear friend once said “change is good…just ask a butterfly”. He was referring to the physical and spiritual changes I was experiencing and the fears I had in doing so. As exciting as it was to be losing weight, getting fit and becoming more connected to my spiritual self it was also quite daunting. I was leaving behind the lifestyle I had chosen to live for over twenty years. I was leaving behind the food that I loved and used to comfort me and was choosing to fight through the addiction, shame and discover who I really am. Change was breaking out of the cocoon I had built around myself and opening up to the life I was meant to live. “Fear and worry are a wasted emotion” he said, “there’s no more time for that, offer it up to God and get on with living”. And that is my goal every single day.

Fear limits our abilities and holds us back from experiencing our best life. Because fear is merely an emotion, we can choose to stop giving it reality. Fear I believe is necessary to a degree; being fearful or mindful of dangerous situations and/or people is a good thing but allowing fear to consume our every moment can prevent us from living the life we are meant to have. Fear is like an anchor holding a ship at sea in one place. When we allow it to take the lead in our lives we lose sight of hopes and dreams and merely hold on to exist; life is not about existing but living. Holding on to fear prohibits us from being able to reach out and grasp what my friend Carole calls “the good stuff”. When we hold onto fear (and other wasted emotions) we have no room for anything else and become a prisoner in our own lives.
What is it that causes you to be fearful? What is it that gets in the way of living your best life? Identifying our fears is the first step in conquering them. When we incorporate positive emotions like love, joy, kindness, happiness and sincerity into our lives we eliminate space for negativity and fear. This week I encourage you to identify your fears, name them, write them down on a piece of paper and then get rid of them; I place my fears in my prayer box. Time spent in fear is time wasted. To sum it all up by an unknown author “Fear is nothing more than an obstacle that stands in the way of progress. In overcoming our fears we can move forward stronger and wiser within ourselves.” Fear not….

Peace,
Karla

Karla

I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!

Read more Karla’s Korner, also please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.

Check out Karla’s 24 Day Advocare Challenge!

Find out how Karla transformed her life and lost over 80 lbs.. it all started with Advocare!

Karla’s Korner: My Weirdos…My Tribe

Karla’s Korner: My Weirdos…My Tribe

Find out why Karla encourage us to find our own tribe

My Weirdos…My Tribe

An old African proverb states “It takes a village to raise a child” and I believe that our village has become a more important and necessary element in today’s world than ever before. Living in an information saturated, fast-paced world our children are faced with a vast array of difficult challenges as well as fantastic opportunities. Finding our way through the parenthood pathway can be a daunting, often scary undertaking; it requires support from our “village”. We must face the fact that we cannot do this parenting thing alone successfully.

But what about adults? Do we need a village? Can we survive adulthood alone? Can we make our own way without guidance, nurturing support from other adults? Do we have the ability to figure it all out without any outside help? No, I don’t think we can do it alone and recognizing that is the first step in the process. When we become parents it seems that everyone has an opinion on how we should do things. Everybody becomes an expert in the field of parenthood but somewhere along the way as our children get older (and we do too) we often find ourselves searching for answers to bigger questions; questions about our own lives, the direction our life is taking us and just how we go about getting to where we need to be on our life journey. I like to think that instead of our village no longer being interested in us that everybody else is searching for answers too. Life, I think is all about the search, the journey and not so much the destination. A friend once shared with me that when his kids were younger they seemed to enjoy the road trips on their way to vacation as much if not more than the destination. There’s an excitement about going somewhere as the anticipation builds but when we reach our destination the excitement dwindles a bit. There’s no more waiting; we have arrived. That’s not to say that we can’t have fun when we get there, it’s just that we are there and the anticipation is over.

The idea of adults needing a village, or a tribe, can be interpreted in several ways. Admitting that we need help can feel like defeat. So instead of reaching out to their village they retreat and struggle silently. As a writer I have an electronic file filled with quotes; some from famous people and some from members of my tribe. One such quote comes from “Anonymous” (I really wish I knew who wrote this): “When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of ‘me too!’ be sure to cherish them because those weirdos are your tribe.” We all need a tribe; we all need someone to be there for us in times of weakness, sadness, struggle, celebration and contemplation. We need to be loved, supported, lifted up and celebrated. We also need to love, support, lift up and celebrate others as well. We need our tribe, our weirdos if you will, to keep us going down.

Every morning I spend time in spiritual meditation. I read several devotions, listen to praise and worship music and I pray. For me it’s a perfect way to begin my days; alone, quiet with my thoughts and with my God. After my quiet time I email a devotion to a friend; a member of my tribe for about a year and a half. It’s a meaningful way to connect, support and recognize our friendship and in turn I often receive a message back. As tribe members we must be able to give and receive that support. Recognizing the fact that our tribe must contain a wide variety of people and that not all of our tribe members need to be connected to one another rather the connection is between you and each of them. As I have battled food addiction on the journey to health and wellness I have been blessed to become part of a unique group of people; my “mini-tribe”. My “mini-tribe” is folks who have become supportive of one another in their quest to conquer various health and wellness goals. We come from various walks of life sharing our goals, fears, insecurities and our victories together. There is no judgement in our tribe as we all understand that our battles are real and we’ve been beat up enough by them. Without my “mini-tribe” I could still do the work, but with them I find that I am able to push harder and if I fall they are always there to soften the landing. We hold one another up and we hold one another accountable.

I encourage you to create your own tribe. Surround yourself with people who will be true to you, to themselves and to the journey of life. Accept the fact that you cannot be a tribe of one. Seek to find your weirdos, embrace them, love them, support them and take hold of the good and the not so good pieces of your life puzzle. Sometimes it takes a second pair of eyes to find the piece that fits next. Author and film maker Srividya Srinivasan sums it up perfectly when she wrote “You are truly home only when you find your tribe”. Find your tribe. Find your home.

Peace,
Karla

Karla

I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!

Read more Karla’s Korner, also please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.

Check out Karla’s 24 Day Advocare Challenge!

Find out how Karla transformed her life and lost over 80 lbs.. it all started with Advocare!

Karla’s Korner: There Are No “Re-Do’s”

Karla’s Korner: There Are No “Re-Do’s”

There is no time for a rewind on the boom box of life, only a “play” button. So push play and move on. Karla's Korner

There Are No “Re-Do’s”

Country music group Rascal Flatts sings a song titled “Rewind” in which the subject of the song wishes he could rewind a particular night; a date that he wished had not ended so quickly. I’ve heard this song several times recently and found myself wondering if I could rewind certain life events would I. If the opportunity arose would I grab it? Once in a while I think it would be nice to go back to the little kid days of Barney, bubbles, bicycles and make-believe. Once in a while I miss being the mommy to my little kids when I was still cool, knew everything and was the center of their world. As tempting as it would be to go back and have a “do over” and “fix” all of the things I did wrong and soften the blows of the troubles and tough times, I am glad I can’t. And then one day I look across the dinner table at the big kids they’ve become, listening to them talk late into the night about school, their hopes and dreams or as they jokingly sling sarcasm at one another I am beyond grateful that we can’t go back. We must learn from the past; we must move forward and embrace the present.

Albert Einstein once said “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” When we enter into a new relationship, romantic or platonic we are taking a chance and sometimes that chance turns out to be a wonderful experience. Sometimes those relationships fall apart and we find ourselves forever changed. Learning from broken relationships I think helps us in developing new ones as we know what works and what doesn’t. Much like adult relationships we find ourselves forging through unfamiliar territory when we become parents. Babies don’t come with instruction manuals as new parents quickly discover. Whether we have one, two or more children we quickly find that each new little person brings about their own unique set of challenges and hopefully we are able to muddle through without too many mistakes or bad decisions, however, if we learn from those mistakes and bad decisions then I believe we become better parents, better friends, better people.

Some of the most important life lessons we will ever learn will be from the bad decisions and mistakes we have made. Experience comes from living, and in living we are able to understand and make adjustments for the mishaps. If we were able to rewind and re-do then there would be no opportunity for growth in wisdom or the rewards we obtain through the knowledge we gain when we go through the difficult stuff.
Author Richelle E. Goodrich wrote “Many times what we perceive as an error or failure is actually a gift. And eventually we find that lessons learned from that discouraging experience prove to be of great worth.” So would you re-wind if you could? Would you want to go back and change your mind, alter the path you’ve already travelled or are you thankful for experiences that have shaped you to be the person you are now? What I find wonderful about being where we are now is that we have the opportunity to continue to move forward and take the lessons from the past and create a future filled with endless possibilities. As I presented my big kids with their Easter baskets on Sunday memories of their little feet pouncing down the steps in the early morning anxious to see what “the bunny” had left filled my mind and heart. I love those memories, but the memories we made this Easter afternoon (they sleep longer these days) were just as sweet. Their baskets, well their baskets are no longer filled with candy and little kid trinkets. This year the big kids got big kid things that allowed us to make big kid memories.

I encourage you to embrace the mistakes, bad decisions and difficulties of the past as you move forward taking new life lessons with you. There is no time for a rewind on the boom box of life, only a “play” button. So push play and move on.

Peace,
Karla

Karla

I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!

Read more Karla’s Korner, also please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.

Check out Karla’s 24 Day Advocare Challenge!

Find out how Karla transformed her life and lost over 80 lbs.. it all started with Advocare!

Karla’s Korner: Why Not Me?

Karla’s Korner: Why Not Me?

life

Why Not Me?

I heard a story about a young boy who was in a car accident this past week; he’s just sixteen and new to the road. The accident was bad enough to stop traffic; no one could get in or out. While some would say as luck would have it his uncle was a few cars back and was able to go to him and help with the scary situation. To me, there’s no question that the uncle was where he was meant to be; luck had nothing to do with it. I believe that we are where we are at any given time going through what we are going through because we are supposed to be. I believe that whatever the situation, good or not so good we are there for a reason, that God has a plan and while we find it difficult to understand we must trust and ask “why not me” instead of “why me?”

Ralph S. Marston, Jr, publisher of The Daily Motivator wrote in a post titled “Allow the Meaning” “Instead of striving to invent some grand purpose, accept that there is a grand purpose and go with it. Rather than making judgments about the meaning of whatever you’re experiencing, simply be thankful to be experiencing it. There is great meaning to be found and felt in the living of each moment. See that life, in whatever form it takes, in whatever circumstance it exists, has profound and intrinsic meaning.”

A close friend has struggled with Parkinson’s disease for many years. She is in her 70’s and never complains about the effects of her illness; memory loss, poor balance to name a few. Early in our friendship she shared with me that she is thankful for the struggle for several reasons one being that if she has it someone else doesn’t. I asked her once if she ever got angry at God for allowing her to struggle the way she does. She said that there was no need to be angry that being angry is a waste of time and there are others who have it tougher than she does. “I wake up every morning and thank God for allowing me one more day to enjoy life” she says. She embraces the struggles as part of her journey, never asking “why me?” only giving thanks that it’s not someone else. Her faith allows her endure, accept and live graciously and say “why not me?” She says that she is going through what she’s supposed to and that she is grateful for each day she has to live.

What if instead of cowering under the weight of life’s challenges we made an effort to accept them and learn to as Marston says “go with it”? What if instead of feeling sorry for ourselves we use our energy to embrace, endure and accept each day as a gift. Admitting that I suck at staying positive all the time and that I do sit on the pity pot on occasion my friend reminds me that it’s not always about me. As a matter of fact she reminded me once that when we ask the question “why me?” we are in fact implying that we are superior or more important than someone else. Why should I think that only good things should happen to me? Why should I think that I don’t deserve heart ache, sadness and disappointment? We are where we are on purpose; there are no coincidences. Learning to accept circumstances instead of constantly trying to change them and asking “why me” all the time will I believe bring about peace and happiness in our lives. Nothing stays the same anyway so why fight it?

This week I encourage you to dig deep down into your soul, accept the struggles as an opportunity to deepen your faith learn a life lesson and become an example for those around you. As Marston states in his post, “Let life be meaningful, for it is, and will be, no matter what. Allow the meaning, and enjoy the ride.” Stop asking “why me?” because none of us are invincible, none of us are superior to anyone else. Instead ask “why not me?” and use your experience to benefit others.

Peace,
Karla

Karla

I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!

Read more Karla’s Korner, also please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.

Check out Karla’s 24 Day Advocare Challenge!

Find out how Karla transformed her life and lost over 80 lbs.. it all started with Advocare!

Karla’s Korner: Dancing Through the Storm

Karla’s Korner: Dancing Through the Storm

Dancing Through the Storm

Dancing Through the Storm…..

Growing up on a farm provided me with a lot of life lessons. I may look like a “city girl” now, but I still have country roots that keep me grounded in those lessons learned. While the main element of our small farm was poultry there were plenty of other animals to take care of. One of my favorite times of the year was when the momma hogs would deliver their piglets; lots and lots of piglets. We also had cows (one for milk) and goats. The goats were at best ornery and difficult but necessary as they kept the fence rows clear of brush and weeds. Having their fill of grass and weeds to eat it seemed that the goats were never quite satisfied with where they were. They always wanted to be on the other side of the fence; I assume they thought the grass was greener or better on the other side. Keeping them contained and content was difficult.

This past week in the middle of my morning routine our 13 year old cat Lucky “beckoned” me with his persistent whining wanting to go outside; little did he know it was pouring rain and quite cold out. As I opened the door he took one step out and quickly retreated back inside and darted to the sunroom door on the other side of the house again whining to go outside. Realizing it was raining out that door too he headed to the front door as I dutifully followed behind. Success! He didn’t go far but at least he went out and I could continue on with my morning. He had finally achieved the results he wanted; no rain. Shutting the door behind him I shook my head, uttered “crazy cat” and went back to preparing for work. As silly as I thought he was, that cat made me realize that we live our lives pretty much the same way.

Quite often like my cat we find ourselves going from one door to the other in hopes of finding different results or in his case avoiding the rain. How often do we head for another door or turn and go in a different direction because we don’t want to deal with unpleasantness? How often do we excuse ourselves from situations that we consider difficult instead of staying and putting in the work to get through it? It seems that we put more energy and focus into avoiding the rain storms of life rather than putting on our rain boots and slopping through the puddles to get to the other side of the storm. A friend once shared with me that it’s important to enjoy the journey because we learn things along the way; of course he was talking about going on vacation but I think it’s also important to observe and enjoy each step of our life journey along the way.

Several years ago my daughter and I were in a particularly silly mood and decided to run out into the backyard during a rain storm. As we stood there with the rain splattering our upward looking faces we began to laugh, that deep belly laugh that nearly knocks you off your feet. My husband thought we were ridiculous and encouraged us to come in out of the rain; we didn’t budge we just stood there getting wet and laughing out loud. “Sometimes Dad”, she said “you just gotta let the rain make you happy”. And so we did just that and we made a memory that we will never forget. This week as we commemorated the loss of our baby 19 years ago I found myself sitting alone on the deck stairs listening to a cardinal sing to me. I believe that cardinal is a sign from Heaven a message of encouragement to keep enjoying life and appreciate the journey. Our hearts grow bigger with struggle I think allowing us to appreciate the sunshiny days.

Author Vivian Greene once said “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” I encourage you to step off the porch into the rain storms that come along in your life, because just like a summer storm that drenches the earth and fades away often leaving a rainbow behind your life storms will fade away as well leaving lessons learned. Life is not easy; it’s not supposed to be. Life is a journey filled with storms, sunshine, clouds and sometimes darkness. Put on your mud boots, grab your raincoat and dance through the puddles after all the journey is by far better than the destination.

Peace,
Karla

Karla

I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!

Read more Karla’s Korner, also please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.

Check out Karla’s 24 Day Advocare Challenge!

Find out how Karla transformed her life and lost over 80 lbs.. it all started with Advocare!

Karla’s Korner: Scars, Scuff Marks and Imperfections

Karla’s Korner: Scars, Scuff Marks and Imperfections

Karla's Korner: Scars, Scuff Marks and Imperfections

Scars, Scuff Marks and Imperfections

As a preschool teacher I am constantly wiping things; faces, noses, hands, bottoms. In my arsenal of wiping tools I have a magic eraser. As I stood over the bright yellow table in my room the other day scrubbing black crayon marks left behind by an enthusiastic three year old who missed the paper a time or two, I found myself thinking about how easy the eraser makes it to remove the crayon and restore the table to bright sunshiny yellow and how nice it would be to have a magic eraser for our hearts to erase the scuff marks left behind from hurts, self-inflicted pains, broken dreams and relationships. How wonderful it would be to be free and clear of all of the marks and imperfections; or would it? Would life be better if there were no scuff marks? Would it be better if we erased it all and had perfection in all aspects of our lives? I believe we need these things to provide us with life lessons, an appreciation of the good stuff, humility, compassion and a deep sense of love of self and others.

In a recent conversation with a friend about (me) having surgery to remove the leftover “junk” from my weight loss I was asked if I was going to have any other “things lifted or tucked”. As I chuckled my answer was quick and concise; “no, I only want the leftovers removed everything else will stay where it has fallen.” This led to a conversation of the dramatic after effects of weight loss including stretch mark scars, floppy arms and wiggly thighs. My coach believes that most of the wiggly jiggly stuff will tighten up a bit with exercise; if it doesn’t that’s okay. The stretch mark scars will serve as a reminder of what used to be and how far I’ve come. They are part of who I am telling my story, a roadmap of sort. I’ve discovered that the body has an amazing way of healing or recovering from abuse and if not recovering adapting to the changes. Scars, scuffs and imperfections, both physical and emotional are the ingredients of character, wisdom, and true caring. Scars are the evidence of healed damage. We all know that damaged areas that heal are stronger than before; just like bones.

Quite often we dwell on the difficult events of our lives wondering “why me?” as if we should be excluded from bad things happening. We need to learn how to deal with and learn from disappointments and difficulties in order to grow and mature our minds and spirits. These learning experiences begin early in our lives through first loves, loosing friends, experiencing some form of bullying or prejudice; all of these things prepare us for life and teaches us lessons at a young age before we are out on our own. Childhood I think is our dress rehearsal while adulthood is show time, the time when we can pull from those early lessons and move through the tough times a bit easier.

Once in a while, however, something happens in our adult lives that we are not prepared for; much like getting a new script and having to learn our lines as we go. Nineteen years ago on a sunny Tuesday afternoon (3/19/1996) life threw my husband and me a new script. In the flip of the switch on an ultrasound monitor our hopes for the baby I was carrying were gone. Filled with a grief so deep we worked to keep life normal for our then two year old little girl and move on; I never fully let go. I never allowed myself to learn any lessons from that pain and grief until nearly 18 years had passed. In sharing my story with a friend remembering that sad day and the grief I was holding onto he said to me “So, you were the vessel for an angel; makes you pretty special I would say.” It was at that moment I was able to look at the scars and scuff marks on my heart and appreciate the lessons I’ve learned from that loss. You see my baby never had to deal with the worries of the world. She never experienced sadness, hurt, fear or cried a tear. My faith tells me that she and I will be reunited in Heaven; the scars have in deed made my heart stronger.

Embracing our scars, scuffs and imperfections as a necessary part of life I believe will not only make life richer but more meaningful and fulfilling. I encourage you to embrace your scars, the ones that are visible (physical) and those that are etched on your heart. Allowing grief, anger, disappointment and sadness to reside long enough to become a valuable lesson will I believe enhance life and give us a clearer vision of life in the present looking toward the future. Stop trying to erase the scuffs and scars; when you do you will be more content and wind up needing fewer erasers.

Peace,
Karla

Karla

I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!

Read more Karla’s Korner, also please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.

Check out Karla’s 24 Day Advocare Challenge!

Find out how Karla transformed her life and lost over 80 lbs.. it all started with Advocare!

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