I am proud to introduce a new column to Madame Deals! I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!
Will You Be My Friend?
There’s a conversation that gets repeated quite often in my classroom (remember my students are 3 and 4 years old). It goes something like this: “hey ______ (I’m not allowed to use names) will you be my best friend?” “Yes, I will be your best friend” (Then another child says) “But I thought I was your best friend?” “No, you are not my best friend anymore _______ is my best friend today” Then I hear “Ms. Karlaaaaaaa she said she’s not my best friend anymore” (followed by tears and pouty lips) I take a deep breath and try to explain that we are all friends and that we must play nicely together. Of course, that is what I am supposed to do, however, what I really want to say is “you know, that is just too bad, sometimes we like certain people more than others and in this life you just have to learn to deal with it. Not everybody has to be your friend.” But I cannot say that because I am the teacher and part of my job is to keep the peace.
Chances are we will all have a best friend or two in our lifetime. Sometimes friendships change for various reasons. As our lives change and we mature, we sometimes grow out of a relationship and realize that it is simply time to move on. Sometimes, our lives take us in different directions and relationships fall by the wayside because of distance and lack of attention. Other times those we thought were our real friends really turn out to be more of an acquaintance or casual friend because one party has commitment issues. Being a true friend takes work. I happen to think that working to maintain a friendship is important. Friendship, like marriage is give and take. Sometimes one friend must give more and take less, but in the end, it is worth it because that friendship is a priority in life and brings meaning and fulfillment to all involved.
I have been blessed with several close friends in my life and have lost a few that I thought were close. As I have grown up and matured I have discovered that grownups are much like children in the friendship category. All too often someone will be a friend until something goes awry and instead of sticking to it and working it out they walk away never looking back to see what has been lost. As sad as it may seem, lost friendships are sometimes necessary in our own personal growth. Allowing ourselves to evaluate what is important to us will enable us to discover the truest of true friends.
In the past several years I have found myself surrounded by some of the most amazing friends I have ever had. Each person brings their own unique gift to my life. There are new friends, whom I have only known a short while who share their children with me and bring me great joy. In turn, I have been able to offer advice based on experiences I had during my younger years, or a shoulder to lean on when times get tough. Then there are the old friends, who although we were apart for nearly 25 years, our recent reunion has been more than a blessing to me. The familiarity in our relationship from so many years ago allows us to renew the old and nurture the new. These friends have reappeared and have opened my eyes and heart allowing me to be myself knowing that whatever happens they are near and will always “have my back”. My long distance friends may be distanced in miles, but are always present in my heart. Emails, cards and letters keep our hearts connected even though the miles separate us physically.
Famous author Edna Buchannan once wrote “Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.” It is so important to surround ourselves with friends who love us unconditionally and will tell us when we are wrong,hold us up when we fall or pat us on the back when we have done something that is praiseworthy. Choose your friends with care and keep them close. Nurture the relationships that are important to you in your life. Hold tight to the knowledge that there will be people who love you for who you are and then love them back for who they are.
The value of a friendship is infinite; beyond measure. Always remember that in order to have a true friend, you yourself must be a true friend.
Also, please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.