I am proud to introduce a new column to Madame Deals! I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!
Reflections: From our First Date to Now….
As I sit here alone with my thoughts I am filled with emotions as I realize that this week (April 16) my husband and I will remember the anniversary of our very first date. While it seems as if it was just a short time ago, in reality it’s been 25 years since this young brown eyed country girl opened the door to a young brown eyed Carolina boy and embarked on the journey of our life. I remember being so nervous that I changed clothes at least three times, nearly wore a hole in the floor as I paced waiting for him to arrive and the worry I had that my dad was going to greet him wearing his dirty work clothes that he wore in the chicken house; he did. I had been admiring David from a distance for quite a while and wondered if he would ever notice me. We both worked for a small private college and our paths crossed periodically. Knowing that there were several other single girls who had voiced their admiration for him, I was pretty certain that I didn’t have much of a chance. After all, I was just 19 years old and not as “cool” as they were; or at least that’s what I thought. What did this farm girl have to offer this handsome city boy? Lucky for me, it became clear that David had somewhat of an interest in getting to know me better. He began to make frequent trips through my office for one reason or another and always found time to stop and speak. Finally one afternoon in early April he stopped by and asked me out. Claiming he was a good cook, he offered to fix a special dinner at his apartment. Little did I know as I climbed into his little blue Pontiac that this was the start of something pretty special.
Having been unlucky in the love department for quite some time I tried not to get my hopes up too high as we drove away. We made a stop at the grocery store for what would become a delicious dinner of lasagna, green beans and garlic bread. As the evening progressed I found myself entertaining the idea that he might just be “the one”. As our time together came to an end he walked me to my door, kissed me on the cheek, climbed back in that little blue Pontiac and promised he would call me later in the week; he was going out of town the next day and would be gone until Friday. Little did I know he would cut his trip short and show up at my office door a few days later wanting to see me again. We married just 17 months later and together have created our own life story and filled that story with memories that are unique to us.
Twenty-five years. Just saying those words blows my mind. The world around us is filled with so much dysfunction, divorce and infidelity that longevity in relationships is often seen as unattainable. So what is it that has allowed us to remain steadfast and strong in our relationship since that first date so long ago? For me, I believe that the key to longevity is respect and communication. Of course, love is right at the top of the list, but without respect and communication relationships can and will suffer. I heard someone say once that marriage should be 50-50. That is simply not true. Recognizing the fact that sometimes I have to give more than David is important; just like there are times when he has to give more to the relationship than me. Finding balance in our relationship is defined by us and us alone. Learning early on that we must rely on one another first has allowed us to keep our relationship strong. As we have maintained our respect for one another our love has grown even deeper. While love in a new relationship is often defined by flowers, candy, gifts and sparkly trinkets, love that has endured the test of time grows into something stronger. We have found that as we have grown and matured so has the love between us.
So as we celebrate this milestone in our lives of 25 years together this week, we will find ourselves remembering that warm April evening when that handsome brown eyed Carolina boy met his brown eyed country girl at her door and started the first chapter in the book of their lives; our lives. To my husband, David, know that I love you more than ever. Thank you for taking a chance on this country girl and asking her out. Thank you for being the husband and father you are and for always looking out for me and our children. I thank God for your presence in my life and look forward to many more April 16’s with you. Here’s to more than 25 more!