I am proud to introduce a new column to Madame Deals! I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!
Just the two of us…
As I write this I am preparing to send my son off to summer camp for the week which means my husband and I will be home alone for the next six days. At first one might jump up and do the happy dance at the prospect of no kids at home for a week; and I must admit the thought of less mess, less cooking, laundry and general noise was a bit appealing but then it began to settle in. We will be home for six days without either one of our children. (My daughter works at summer camp all summer) To say that I am used to having my daughter out of the house most of the time would not be exactly accurate. Having her away is not always easy and I still worry about her but I am getting better with the fact that she is an adult now and pretty much on her own. Of course, she still needs her dad and I once in a while and when she does we enjoy it a great deal. My momma role with her has changed and while that was (and is) a bit difficult to take in I do enjoy knowing that she is a pretty good decision maker and can and does take pretty good care of herself. However, the thought of having both of them out of the house this week is a bit daunting.
When we are young and searching for that certain someone to fall in love with and prepare to spend our lives with one another our minds are filled with the gooiness of romance and the images that are conjured up in books, television and movies. The reality of it all (for me) is that I really do not need all of that mushy stuff to keep me happy. When we were dating nearly 25 years ago my husband and I worked at a small private college and our paths would cross quite often. We kept our relationship secret for nearly 5 months before anyone other than a few close friends and family knew about it. After the cat was out of the bag so to speak I would find flowers, notes, cards, trinkets, etc. on my desk from time to time and felt like the luckiest girl in the world. (He had been showering me with those same things in private before that.) What I didn’t know what that eventually that stuff wouldn’t matter and what would take its place would be the reality of life and a redefining sense of love and romance. I still get flowers and trinkets from time to time and I enjoy it very much. But what I enjoy more is the common every day niceties that come along without me asking or expecting. For example, I had to wear a full leg brace for over two weeks due to severe leg pain (thanks osteoarthritis) during which time my husband pulled out the vacuum and helped me with the weekly chores. He is also the first one to empty the dishwasher, take out the trash or clean up the kitchen after dinner.
The reality of life is that we fall in love, we get married (or whatever it is we choose to do), have children, get a dog, cat, bird or whatever it is you choose as a pet and focus on our families and things change. Being the parent is just about all we do for roughly 18 years and then one day you realize that your children are grown (or nearly grown) and you are back to setting two places at the dinner table on a more regular basis. On our way home from grocery shopping today I commented to my husband that we were getting old and we were going to be all alone in the very near future. He scolded me and asked why I kept dwelling on the negative side of the situation. Of course I answered with the whole, “I’m sad that my kids won’t be around all the time…blah blah blah”. Short of lecturing me he made one statement that really hit home. He said “we’ve done our job as parents and we’ve done it well. Now is our time to be a couple again and reap the benefits of our work and dedication.” So there you have it; my ahaa moment for the week. It’s supposed to be this way. Our kids are supposed to grow up and we are supposed to enjoy ourselves after they do.
If you are parenting young children right now and often feel like you are going to crack under the pressures of life, know that before long your kids are not going to need or want you as much and you are going to have quite a bit of time on your hands. It’s supposed to be that way. Life is like a roller coaster. You will have times in those early years plodding up the hill thinking you are never going to get to the top and then when you reach the top you hold on tight and enjoy the ride. For me, I am going to embrace this coming week knowing that my children are where they want to be, doing what they want to do and having a great time doing it while their dad and I enjoy a slower paced week with just ourselves (and the pets) to worry about. Dinner for two with candles maybe? I doubt the candles but I am sure I will enjoy the company.
Also, please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.