I am proud to introduce a new column to Madame Deals! I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!
Fashion No No’s….There are some things you just shouldn’t wear
I am a “big girl”…that’s no big secret. As a matter of fact that are quite a few “big girls” in this world; and “big boys” for that matter. No, I am not talking about my age or maturity; I am talking about my size. I have shared before that I suffer from a severe food addiction. This addiction is something that has at times consumed my every thought to the point that I couldn’t focus on anything other can getting my next food “fix”. There are people (doctors/experts) who believe that food addictions are not real that they are more of a psychological thing…you know it’s all in my head. Well, yes it is in my head and it is real. Hence, the reason I am a “big girl” Anyway, as a “big girl” I find myself working very hard to not only minimize my size but am constantly aware of my appearance; not to the point of extreme vanity, but more of making sure that I look appropriate. Keeping myself covered and looking nice has always been a priority. I know that I do not have the body type to wear short shorts, halter tops or even skinny jeans. That being said, I do not believe that I need to walk around in sweat pants and “moo moos” all the time either. The fashion industry albeit in my opinion is geared toward the skinny girl, has come a long way in providing fashionable clothing for us “big girls”.
Lately I have seen quite a few young teen aged girls wearing too few clothes. I recently spent time with a large group of teenagers and could not help notice that the girls shorts left very little to the imagination as well as the skin tight tops that were either sleeveless or altered in some form or fashion to show off their “stuff”. While I believe that every person has a right to wear what they want to wear, I also believe that young people (under the age of 18) should be monitored a bit more when it comes to the clothes they wear. I have had discussions with parents in the past about this topic and have gotten the response “well, you know how kids are” or “she’s 15, what am I supposed to do?” What are you supposed to do? Well, being the parent and more than likely the one who purchases said clothes; I would think the thing to do is say “no”.
Fashion education is something that I believe society lacks today. Just because the model in the magazine or on the television looks cute in that string bikini as she sips her beverage on a beach with some muscular dude does not mean that a young teen aged girl should wear it. Somewhere the notion that less is best when it comes to attire has taken over the idea that partial nudity is not okay. For example, not everyone should wear a two piece bathing suit or spandex. “Big girls” such as myself need to realize that when you are large it is not appropriate to dress like the magazine models. Understand that I am not putting anyone down for their size; I totally understand the difficulties of being large. I have been large most of my life and can only blame myself for that. There are bathing suits, and other summer attire that are made for the larger person.
It is my personal opinion that one can feel completely comfortable with their body and wear what they want, I just believe that choosing our attire should be done in a way that will enhance our beauty and promote positive body image. I catch myself wanting to ask young girls quite often why they have the need to show off so much of their bodies; no matter what size they are. There are just some people who cannot and should not wear certain items of clothing and that is okay. For me, there are a lot of things I wish I could wear but know that I cannot. However, if I really want to wear those things then I need to work on my physical self so that I can wear them in an appropriate manner. And while I am not suggesting that young girls wear long sleeves, high collars and lace up boots, I am suggesting that they keep their boobs covered and their rear ends in their shorts and not hanging out from the bottom of their shorts.
Modesty is in rare form in our world today. Sex sells; it sells everything from cars to cheeseburgers. The images our teens see in the media have put the idea in a lot of their heads that the body is no longer private and that less is best.
For me, I have been blessed with two children who have followed in my footsteps in the modesty department. For that I am thankful. For those who read this and have differing opinions, understand that these are my opinions and yours may differ; that’s okay. Parenting is difficult and we often find ourselves caving in to the pressure of our children and their desire to fit it and be “cool”. I have caved quite often and know that I will probably cave again. However I have always worked to promote a positive self image with my children in both the physical and emotional sense meaning that I believe that feeling good about themselves emotionally is just as important as feeling good about themselves physically. Take time to shop with your children and discuss the appropriateness of what they are choosing to wear. Agreeing to compromise on certain clothing items may be a solution, however, teaching them that not everything can be worn by everybody…it’s just the way it is.
Also, please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.