I am proud to introduce a new column to Madame Deals! I think we all need a touch point a place we can go to be inspired. Karla is my children’s teacher, a good friend, and a person with a heart of gold. I hope that her words will inspire you to do more. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with. It is important to listen with your heart and proceed with your eyes open. Enjoy!
Are You Responsible….?
So have you heard about the 33 year old man who has fathered 30 children in 15 years? No, this is not a joke, this is real life. When I first heard about this I waited for the punch line; I knew it had to be a joke but quickly realized that it was not; it is a real life situation involving a very large family. As the news programs began to talk about this and dissect the problem, one thing became crystal clear; there is no one real person to blame. How did this happen? Who would allow this to happen? What in the world does one do with 30 children? There are no real solid answers to any of these questions. I have two children and there were times in my younger years that I wondered how I was going to take care of, nurture, and successfully raise them until they were grown-ups. This collective group of mommas and dad have somehow found themselves in a situation that seems unfathomable to most, but reality to them. Unfortunately someone will have to pay for the grown-ups lack of responsibility. The children have no say in this mess at all, however, they are the ones most affected by their parents irresponsible behaviors.
As I pondered over writing about this topic I wrote, deleted, re-wrote, deleted and am now writing about it because quite frankly I cannot stop thinking about it. At first I was leery to approach the subject for fear of political incorrectness. After nearly two weeks of thinking about it I feel the need to share my feelings on the subject….politically correct or not.
One of the biggest and most important lessons a parent can teach a child is responsibility for their own actions, something the parents in this story apparently lack. As much as I believe that having children and how many is a personal choice, I believe that having children so recklessly is unacceptable behavior. Think about it, there are 11 women who have had babies with this man and now he is asking the state of Tennessee to help pay for their care. I will be the first to say that I believe someone needs to step in a take care of them; I hope the government will assist these children so that they can have the proper care they need to survive. As for the parents, I believe that an intervention is necessary. There should be no more babies added to this family. That being said, I heard the father just last night on the news say that he hoped it didn’t happen again; he hoped there would be no more. Seriously? He can control the outcome of that by being responsible. There are many ways to prevent pregnancy something that he has not done in the past.
Has anyone in this story done anything illegal? No. Technically none of the adults in this situation have done anything illegal, but they all have been irresponsible which has created a set of circumstances for these children that are unfair. My heart hurts for the children; they did not ask to be born and definitely did not ask to be the subject of news media frenzy. Unfortunately, they are and somehow these children need to be taken care of.
I believe that some in our society thinks it is okay to live recklessly and allow others to take the fall; clean up the mess left behind. Who’s responsibility is it to make sure that children or adults for that matter in these types of situations are taken care of? These lessons need to begin at home when our children are young. Children learn by example and if parents live an irresponsible lifestyle then their children will no nothing else. I do believe that when irresponsibility creates situations like this certain guidelines need to be in place so that the behavior is modified in order to receive help meaning that these people need to work for their assistance. If people are making a conscious effort to do all they can and still fall short or life throws them a curve ball and they find themselves down on their luck but continue to work toward finding a solution, then by all means assist them. But for folks who simply hold out their hand and ask for someone else to pick up the pieces while they continue to live irresponsibly then assistance should be limited.
I have been blessed in my life and have never had a great need for anything. My family has always been clothed, fed and comfortable and for that we are grateful. I have never had a problem helping those in need and have done so quite often, however, I wonder what it is that makes some people believe that others should pick up the slack so that they can continue to live without responsibility. Living responsibly is a must for everyone. Being responsible builds pride in ourselves, our children and our world. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, as long as you stay true to yourself, your family, your faith and take the responsibility to not only be the best you can be but teach your children to do the same. What a grand world we live in…let’s all strive to make it an even grander place to be.
Also, please visit Karla’s Lifetime Moms page and read her articles.