How to Say NO
How to Say No
I wrote a post about saying Why We Said No to Disney. I realized it hit a nerve with people. The purpose wasn’t to debate whether you should go to Disney or not. The purpose was to help people understand that saying “No” can lead to saying yes to more important things. I am often faced with decisions as we all are. Decisions that I have to give an answer to and the answer reaches far more than the immediate implications. I wish to say “Yes” but saying “Yes” means I have to say no to other things. That was the primary reason I decided to open my own business and work from home. I wanted to say “Yes” to what I want and “No” to the things that didn’t matter. The problem is a lot of people do not know how to say “No”.
How to say No
I believe you can say “No”. If you have a goal in mind. If your goal is to spend more time with your family then saying “Yes” to activities that take you away from them will not work. If define who you are and what you want then you will come to a better conclusion. I recently saw this in my Facebook feed a parent was having issues with their child. Their child was used to receiving everything they ever touched. It was hard to watch the parent face a sudden job loss. The truth of the matter is they had been saying “Yes” for so long that they didn’t really plan for what would happen if their income stopped. It doesn’t matter if you have a lot of money or very little. The ability you have to say “No” will in fact increase how you look at what is important.
How to say NO
- The first thing you need to do is determine five goals you have for your family. Your goals should be a mix of immediate goals and future goals. Make sure your goals are:
a) Measurable ( I will save $20 a week by cutting coupons and shopping the sales flyer. I will put that $20 into a interest bearing savings account. I will do this for 52 weeks. Then I will take the $1040 and put $500 into an emergency find $250 in a college fund $250 in a vacation fund and $40 into disposable income.
b) Define a time period for your goal. It can be I will do this for 30 days, a week, or 5 years. We set our college savings goal for 18 years but paid them off in less than 5 years.
c) Write down why you want to take on this goal. It will remind you later when things get tough. I carried a pictures of my kids near my credit card. The less I used it the closer I got to my goal to pay off college.
d) Offer yourself a reward that isn’t tied to money. I love to read a good book so I blocked off time to read.
e) Understand the purpose of your goal and share it with everyone that you will need to help you achieve the goal
f) Write your goal down in a place everyone can see
2) Write a list of things that you really do not need. In our case it was new cars. We bought one new car in the last 14 years. That was only because the used version was so close to the new car price that I got that it didn’t make sense not t0 buy it new. We figure by driving use cars that are paid off we save $300 a month. That adds up to almost $4,000 a year.
3) Have a family meeting and determine what you are willing to give up as a family.
4) Show the kids the outcome if you are planning to buy a new house let them look online to see new houses. If you are planning to pay off debt explain the extra money you will have each month since you will not be paying on money you borrowed.
5) Follow your plan
7) Keep Track so create a system that you can measure your achievement
8) Have weekly updates and place the amount saved on a board or the refrigerator.
9) Assign a saver of the week the person who made the biggest impact toward the goal. That person gets their free activity of choice. My kids really got into not being able to have something in order to save for college. I took them to mine and my husband’s college the University of Florida and showed them around. That was very motivating. The talk about how they are going to cheer for the football team when they get older. I also bought them each a jersey.
10) Understand that success is based on saying “NO” it isn’t what you save it is what you spend. If you spend less you will have more.
What are you going to say “NO” to so you can say “yes” to something more important?
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