Facebook Killed My Friendship
I know people say a something can’t ruin a friendship, it is people that do that. That may be true. I believe Facebook has become the third person in a relationship. It is the place that we share. Where we ask questions. The place that we post what we have done and are doing. It is the place that we talk about our interest, our beliefs, our theories. It is truly the place that we forget the whole world is watching.
I post all the time. I know my parents go to my page and check in on me. I post so people that I love get to be a part of my daily life. I have the opportunity to send my love and good vibes to people in my life past and present and I use Facebook as my vehicle. It is nice that you can congratulate them on their accomplishments and commiserate on their failures. You can send your best wishes and deepest sympathies. It is a refuge when you are sad or the friend you type on when you are happy. It is the virtual epitome of “shouting it from the roof tops.”
I believe Facebook is a conversation and earlier this week I saw an article posted on a friend’s wall. The article was about Attachment Parenting. I read the article and then I responded with my opinion. I have a very strong opinion on always being available to your child at the detriment of yourself. I think there is a healthy balance necessary in life. I am a work at home mom and have been for the last 10 years. I get up each morning. I take a shower and I get dressed to work out if I am going to the gym and if I am going right to work I put on jeans and a nice shirt. I do my hair and apply my lipstick. I make my children breakfast get their snacks organized and drive the kids that go to school to school and the child that stays behind comes to the gym and then to his class. When the children were home my routine was the same. I made sure my needs were met as well as their own. I had a clean house most of the time but did employ a cleaning person every other week. I had food on the table every night. I have my own businesses with team members, I am a landlord, and I am a wife which means I am still dating my husband. I am not just a mom. I love being a mom but it isn’t my only job. It is one that I am incredibly lucky to have and there isn’t a day that goes by that I am not grateful.
I am not the mom that could attend all the playgroups and frankly I hated them. I either liked the moms or I liked the kids. I often liked both but I didn’t like the behavior management techniques of the parents. I also found the playgroups were at nap times. I soon moved past all that and focused more on my work and what my children actually wanted to do. We soon replaced play group with 3 hours of preschool. That allowed my children to play and myself to work. Then we would have lunch together and they would go to nap. I would work some more, get dinner ready, clean up, and then wake up the young children and go gather the oldest.
I am not a perfect mom nor do I pretend to be one. I let my kids dress themselves and sometimes it looks like that happened in the dark. I do not spend hours doing what they want but I do spend time with them. We even have dates. We have teachable moments and luckily I was able to leave my work at home job and transition to just owning, writing, and operating my sites. That has allowed me to be able to take on projects that my children can participate in. You can see our whole series of recipes kids can make. I work from home for many reasons the first admittedly is being just a mom wasn’t enough for me. I am happier when I work. I can’t tell you how many rolling eyes I have dealt with over the years because of that, but I believe in myself and I believe in order to be a good spouse, parent, and friend you need to be happy. I also work because I want to contribute financially to my family. I have learned how to run a thriving business and my husband says that I have a work ethic unlike anyone he has ever seen.
I am sure you are wondering why I have digressed. I responded to my friend’s comment about a mom who says it is okay that you haven’t gotten anything done all day because you spent all day holding your child. I personally do not think it is okay to get nothing done. In my case not getting dressed or showered or cleaning my house would have put me in a state of depression. I love my babies and I cuddle them every morning from whenever they wake up until 7:00 am but I can’t cuddle them all day. I can’t play with them all day. I can’t do everything they want whenever they want because the world doesn’t work that way. I can’t be their only stimulus. The person that creates their experiences. I needed to teach them how to become independent. I needed to teach them this is the box of toys you get to play with while I shower. It was my job to help my children not depend on me to fulfill every need they had.
I posted my opinion and then later on decided to see what my friend’s response was to my comment. I listed what I have done for the last nine almost ten years and found I was blocked or something where you can’t view their news feed. I was sad at first and then frankly I was ticked. Who are you to judge me? Who are you to decide my mothering style isn’t good enough? I decided that having someone in your life that doesn’t agree to disagree isn’t worth having them in your life.
I have over one thousand friends they are from all walks of life. They have different religions, colors, shapes, and educational backgrounds. I respect them for who they are. I adore engaging in a conversation and a good debate. What I do not desire to have is someone who unilaterally decided they were done without taking a moment to make a phone call. I have seen relationships end over political discussions and opinions that weren’t asked for. In this case I made the decision to remove myself from a Facebook relationship and if this person wishes to make amends they make phones for that. People need to stop hiding behind their profile, if you are brave enough to post then be brave enough to back up what you post. You need to know that Facebook is a place of conversation, joy, and sometimes disappointment and sometimes it is the place that defines who you are.
Has Facebook killed a friendship of yours?
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